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Post by Britney on Sept 12, 2006 17:12:09 GMT -5
I know why my friends like me. They like me for my body, for my money, and because I'm socially networked to tons of other worthless parasites just like themselves.
Does anybody like you for who you are? Honestly? Can someone be your friend without them basing it on what you might "do" for them? Is such a friendship possible? Or is every single relationship to some degree formed on selfish desire?
I don't know, I'm just really pissed off right now. People always try to get me to do things through dishonestly telling me what I want to hear. I guess I probably do the same. I'm guessing you probably do too...
Looking at it from a natural perspective, people form bonds because it helps promote their own survival... I guess in that sense, all relationships ignite from the selfish desire to better one's own life... yet if that is a given, then why does that seem wrong from an idealistic standpoint? Why does it piss me off, should it make me happy that others think I offer them a better shot at survival? Well... it doesn't... and now I'm confused.
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Post by eek on Sept 12, 2006 17:24:21 GMT -5
Well, when you put it like that, all relationship are based on selfishness, whether it be physical or emotional desires. It's just wanting to be loved is more acceptable in our society than wanting to live off their cash.  It really is about what they can do for you, no matter how you look at it. I can assume that most of my friends aren't in it for my good looks or money, since I lack large amounts of both (although some have contested the former). I suppose it's because I'm adaptable and friendly. I'll talk to pretty much anyone, provided they strike up the conversation (not my strong point). As for liking me for who I am... I suppose so. They like me for the sides I show, which differ depending on who I'm with. None of them are an act, it's just different situations bring out different sides of me. |
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Post by Britney on Sept 12, 2006 17:32:29 GMT -5
But if people like you for your personality, is that them being selfish? For example: The quality to make others laugh is good. Do you like other people who make you laugh?
What is so selfish about that? ... is it selfish that you like to laugh, it makes you feel good, so you hang out with people who make you laugh? ...
Conversations can be easy to strike up - just look at the person and find something to comment on that fits the time and place. If they want to talk to you, they'll reciprocate. Conversations are harder to keep going than to initiate...
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Post by Slipper Eater on Sept 12, 2006 17:34:35 GMT -5
I highly doubt my friendships are selfish, I don't expect my friends to do anything. Which is why I usually have a few extremely close friendships then others are fairly distant. My friends don't expect anything of me, either - and they don't tell me what I like hearing. My closest are brutally honest with me, irregardless of how hurtful it is. And vice versa. So I suppose we're around eachother for the honesty, but I'd suppose they also like me because I'm trustworthy [it's very, very rare for me to break promises or tell secrets].
Same goes for them. They probably like me because I seem to have answers and I give them whether they want to hear them or not.
Of course we do stuff for eachother, but even if we don't it doesn't have a negative impact.
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Post by Britney on Sept 12, 2006 17:38:26 GMT -5
hmm... guess I just have crappy "friends"... in the very least, suppose its a good thing I recognize it...
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Post by eek on Sept 12, 2006 17:38:52 GMT -5
But if people like you for your personality, is that them being selfish? For example: The quality to make others laugh is good. Do you like other people who make you laugh? What is so selfish about that? ... is it selfish that you like to laugh, it makes you feel good, so you hang out with people who make you laugh? ... Conversations can be easy to strike up - just look at the person and find something to comment on that fits the time and place. If they want to talk to you, they'll reciprocate. Conversations are harder to keep going than to initiate... You can still look at that as being selfish. You want to spend time with people who make you laugh or whatever. You're doing it because that's what you want. Okay, it benefits others too, but it is still kinda selfish. See, that's the thing. Once I get started I can keep a conversation going no problem. I guess I'm just wierd. |
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Post by zarrexaij on Sept 12, 2006 18:48:38 GMT -5
My friends like me for who I am.
When you get to the very heart of it, it's slightly selfish, but not inherently so. It's not something you exactly have control over and can decide if you're doing it for self-interest.
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Post by eek on Sept 12, 2006 18:55:21 GMT -5
Yeah, that's what I was trying to say, but I couldn't quite put it as well as that for some reason.  |
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Post by Slipper Eater on Sept 12, 2006 18:59:36 GMT -5
I think selfishness is more a conscious thing. Yes it can be slightly so if you look hard enough - but real friends are usually not making the conscious choice to use you.
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Post by eek on Sept 12, 2006 19:03:37 GMT -5
Thing is, selfishness is so often used in a negative context that we think of it as being a bad thing, when it isn't really. It's just looking after number one, not necessarily at the expense of others (which is when the word usually used).
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Twitchmonkey
Gallant
Dragonzord Hooker
I like hookers
Posts: 2,979
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Post by Twitchmonkey on Sept 13, 2006 2:22:23 GMT -5
I don't have friends. My acquiantances like me when I humor them.
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Post by milanius on Sept 13, 2006 9:05:22 GMT -5
I don't have friends. My acquiantances like me when I humor them. Seconded. Edit: But, to be honest, what would define friendship? If Zarrexaij or Stargazey or someone else I don't know from real life and deem very dear has, for example, run into accident and needed blood, I'd give it at once without a second of thoght [if I was near, of course]. Do acts similar to that define friendship? I don't know. What really defines friendship and closeness to someone is very subjective thing. But yes, telling your friend truth, even when it's bitter and unpleasant, counts in my book as a decent thing. Another edit: To keep spam to minimum & answer the original question - I have no idea why people like me. I am not a likeable person, not exceptionally smart or funny, not exceptionally good looking. Hell, I dislike myself. |
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Post by Vinya on Sept 13, 2006 9:19:54 GMT -5
I don't know why my friends like me.
I know it sure as hell isn't because of my body or looks, or because of having tons of cash, because neither situation is the best. So I honestly am not sure what my friends see in me, but it has to be something real because it obviously isn't material.
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Post by Cow Guru (Admiral jimbob) on Sept 13, 2006 10:19:01 GMT -5
I don't have friends. I've never bothered to wonder why; to be perfectly honest, I've never cared. The few acquiantances I've had seem to be put off by the fact that I don't give a damn about them, which is quite correct.
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melchior1
Aspirant
Official PROTESF Necromancer
"This is my blessing, my curse."
Posts: 628
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Post by melchior1 on Sept 13, 2006 16:47:43 GMT -5
I don't know why my friends like me. I know it sure as hell isn't because of my body or looks, or because of having tons of cash, because neither situation is the best. So I honestly am not sure what my friends see in me, but it has to be something real because it obviously isn't material. we like you cuz you let us hang out at your house and eat your pizza  edit: I'm kind of a loner right now.....haven't met anyone at college yet that I really like and wouldn't mind hanging out with I guess my old friends have set a standard thats hard to live up to  |
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Post by Vinya on Sept 13, 2006 17:26:28 GMT -5
I don't know why my friends like me. I know it sure as hell isn't because of my body or looks, or because of having tons of cash, because neither situation is the best. So I honestly am not sure what my friends see in me, but it has to be something real because it obviously isn't material. we like you cuz you let us hang out at your house and eat your pizza edit: I'm kind of a loner right now.....haven't met anyone at college yet that I really like and wouldn't mind hanging out with I guess my old friends have set a standard thats hard to live up to  awwwww  we will have a pizza partay when I get back. |
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iGuess
Gallant
I'm just in it for the butt-secks.
Posts: 2,384
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Post by iGuess on Sept 13, 2006 17:48:31 GMT -5
This is question is much harder than it should be. I seriously have NO idea why my friends like me. I haven't really though about it until now.
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melchior1
Aspirant
Official PROTESF Necromancer
"This is my blessing, my curse."
Posts: 628
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Post by melchior1 on Sept 13, 2006 19:29:39 GMT -5
we like you cuz you let us hang out at your house and eat your pizza edit: I'm kind of a loner right now.....haven't met anyone at college yet that I really like and wouldn't mind hanging out with I guess my old friends have set a standard thats hard to live up to awwwww we will have a pizza partay when I get back. woot pizza |
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Post by attrebus on Sept 14, 2006 3:20:21 GMT -5
My friends don't like me. They are my friends out of fear of what I will do to them.
Oh yeah, and they take advantage of my computer knowledge.
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Post by Leviticus on Sept 14, 2006 8:29:06 GMT -5
Don't feel too confused, Britney. You're spot on with your thoughts. It's true that many people have some ulterior motives for desiring friendship. I guess one can call that selfish. But hey, aren't we all selfish in our own ways? If you are blessed to have at least one "true" or "best" friend, then be assured theirs is a selfless friendship. The singer/songwriter, Bob Seger, said it best in a line from his song, Night Moves... "I used her, she used me, and neither one cared. We were gettin' our share."  |
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Zann
Gallant
Not all jokes are funny...
Posts: 3,613
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Post by Zann on Sept 14, 2006 14:56:59 GMT -5
My girlfriend told me that she likes me because I'm horny....there you are...
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Post by eek on Sept 14, 2006 15:36:56 GMT -5
You mean like 99% of the rest of teenage males? |
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pilaf
Foreman
Out of step with the world
Posts: 455
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Post by pilaf on Sept 14, 2006 18:16:27 GMT -5
Cause I'm their homie. I've known my best friends since kindergarten..we used to flick boogers and play with finger paints together.
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Post by Britney on Sept 14, 2006 18:38:03 GMT -5
You mean like 99% of the rest of teenage males?  , what happened to the other 1%? |
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Post by eek on Sept 14, 2006 18:41:18 GMT -5
You mean like 99% of the rest of teenage males? , what happened to the other 1%? There's bound to be some exceptions... surely...? |
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