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Post by ExtraCheeZ on Sept 14, 2006 19:32:14 GMT -5
Being that I am pretty scientific I dont beleive friends could exists without selfishness. Even the very nature of what makes you want to be around them is selfish.
I dont see why you are getting so cought up in it though britany, we are humans, we are greedy selfcentered beings hell bent on our on survival.
Enjoy the ride, theres no point getting depressed about how nature designed us.
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pilaf
Foreman
Out of step with the world
Posts: 455
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Post by pilaf on Sept 14, 2006 20:13:26 GMT -5
Of course friendship is selfish, but it's a selfless selfishness. You know that by having their back and giving, you're gonna get back if the friendship is good.
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Post by ExtraCheeZ on Sept 14, 2006 20:40:10 GMT -5
The question is pilaf
If they didnt have you back or give you anything, would you want to be their friend?
Its a mutual gain. Thus both sides are selfish.
If 1 of the 2 involved parties had no gain, it would technicaly not be a friendship.
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Post by Slipper Eater on Sept 15, 2006 4:15:54 GMT -5
Mmm, I define selfishness as something you do consciously to further yourself - if my friends didn't give me anything, I wouldn't cut them out of my life. Sometimes friendships are detrimental and distracting and serve little more purpose than a self esteem boost. But are they really friends if thats all they are?
The way I see it, yes they're forged on a selfish principle in a sense, but I really do think that it'd be truly selfish if you picked someone out and decided you were gonna be their friend to gain somethin'.
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Post by lulu on Sept 15, 2006 4:26:22 GMT -5
If you scratch my back I'll scratch yours...
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Zann
Gallant
Not all jokes are funny...
Posts: 3,613
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Post by Zann on Sept 15, 2006 10:24:11 GMT -5
Ok, my friends like me because I'm senitmental and care for them, apparently...and my girlfriend says she loves everything about me...guess things go two ways...
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Post by lucia on Sept 15, 2006 12:15:38 GMT -5
Probably because I'm friendly (most of the time), honest, and usually not very pretentious.
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Post by Vinya on Sept 17, 2006 12:48:02 GMT -5
F is for friends who do stuff together U is for you and me N is for anytime and anywhere under the deep blue sea!
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Post by nicknak on Sept 17, 2006 13:58:12 GMT -5
In reality humans need human contact. That is primary reason 1 for friends. However then comes into play who your friends are friends with and your looks and that type of stuff. Its kind of like a symbiosis of sorts, you benefit(or don't) out of their friendship while they benefit from yours in some way.
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mastab
Gallant
Orgasmic Flooding
Free hugs!
Posts: 2,781
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Post by mastab on Sept 17, 2006 14:12:10 GMT -5
Because I let them absorb some of my glory and seksness like little leeches. Or like the moon.
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Post by nicknak on Sept 17, 2006 14:23:53 GMT -5
F is for friends who do stuff together U is for you and me N is for anytime and anywhere under the deep blue sea! F is for fire that burns down the whole town U is for uranium.......bombs N is for no survivors when you-
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ema
Outlander
I could...set the building on fire.
Posts: 14
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Post by ema on Oct 31, 2006 17:01:11 GMT -5
A lot of my friends are through the Internet. Actually, I have more friends through here than I do here (physically). I think the reason that I have so few friends is that it isn't a superficial relationship. They are deep connections with other people. And thinking back on it, I have never lost a friend. I have never had a fight with anyone so severe that we stopped talking to each other or anything. I have one friend that I've known for 14 years. 14, jeez. A decade and a half, and I'm onyl 18. That's crazy. I lie to think that my friends are friends with me because they like being around me, I give them something that no one else can, and vice versa.
Another reasons I dislike MySpace. My MySpaceginity has never been taken, and never will (hopefully).
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Post by Hunessai on Oct 31, 2006 19:46:51 GMT -5
I don't think all friendships are pessimistic, parasitic relationships. I don't expect anything from my friends, and our relationships are just fine.
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Post by Cortana on Oct 31, 2006 20:18:33 GMT -5
I don't think all friendships are pessimistic, parasitic relationships. I don't expect anything from my friends, and our relationships are just fine. Isn't just depending on their time demanding something from them? I'm not saying conversing is automatically taxing them, and it's more than likely something they want to give because they'll also benefit, but any relationship is going to have a purpose... even if it's just company. It's harder to keep friends in college than high school. When I transferred I found my best friend from high school again-- back in the day we were inseperable, veritable sisters. And now I don't even know her major. I don't have anything to offer her, and she nothing to me. So now if we see each other, we discuss memories, decide to email each other, hug, and walk on. Since we can't share homework, share money, share clothes, share stories, we don't share time. And in general, when we become more self-dependent, relationships dwindle to those we can trust to depend on-- family and very old friends. Anyone else demands rides, loans, help, and time before you can expect the same. You just can't receive without giving.
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Post by earwen on Jan 13, 2007 15:58:53 GMT -5
I hope that my friends like me for my personality, because there's nothing more i have (at least so i think). I have only about 3 friends (of course i communicate with much more people...) and maybe about 3 or 4 persons whom i'd like to call friends but we are not close enough. And i do not want more.
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mastab
Gallant
Orgasmic Flooding
Free hugs!
Posts: 2,781
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Post by mastab on Jan 26, 2007 21:54:02 GMT -5
I know why my friends like me. They like me for my body, for my money, and because I'm socially networked to tons of other worthless parasites just like themselves. Does anybody like you for who you are? Honestly? Can someone be your friend without them basing it on what you might "do" for them? Is such a friendship possible? Or is every single relationship to some degree formed on selfish desire? I don't know, I'm just really pissed off right now. People always try to get me to do things through dishonestly telling me what I want to hear. I guess I probably do the same. I'm guessing you probably do too... Looking at it from a natural perspective, people form bonds because it helps promote their own survival... I guess in that sense, all relationships ignite from the selfish desire to better one's own life... yet if that is a given, then why does that seem wrong from an idealistic standpoint? Why does it piss me off, should it make me happy that others think I offer them a better shot at survival? Well... it doesn't... and now I'm confused. Like me for who I am? Hell, I don't even know who I really am. We hide ourselves from cultural standards and scuh so much that we loose who we really are. I think of friendship like a business agreement. They amuse me, I amuse and/or I'm not mean to them.
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