Yay for Politics!

[Ratwar]

You know, I find it scary how much some Politicians are prepared to lie about… well, anything. Of course, what scares me even more is the half-truths they insist on shoving down people’s throats. On that note, it is time to play a little game where we laugh at the politicians quotes!

“We now have found stockpiles,”
-Sen. Rick Santorum

Yes, congratulations. According to intelligence officials these stockpiles were mostly consisting of one or two munitions. Anyways, I got to hand it to Sen. Santorum, he doesn’t appear to stupid.

"They are weapons of mass destruction. They are harmful to human beings. And they have been found."
-Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld

Actually, I guess it really depends on what you think is ‘Mass’ destruction. David Kay, the former head of the U.S. weapons-hunting team in Iraq from 2003 until early 2004, says, “It is less toxic than most things that Americans have under their kitchen sink at this point.” Sounds massive, doesn’t it? So either we appoint a dumb to search for the WMD or we’re lying through our teeth right now. GO POLITICS!

Oh, and Sec. Rumsfeld also neglects to mention that we’ve been finding them over the past two years. I’m glad they’ve been keeping the American people updated… Well, I guess this is to be expected, election year and all.

"I am 100 percent sure if David Kay had the opportunity to look at the reports that describe these things, he would agree with the finding that ... these things are lethal and deadly,"
-House Intelligence Chairman Peter Hoekstra

I sure that Rep. Hoekstra’s opinion on such munitions is much more qualified than Mr. Kay’s I mean, it isn’t uncommon that people who studied political science as an undergrad before getting a MBA know a lot about chemical weapons… Oh well…

I do have one final card to play:

“One official conceded that these pre-Gulf War weapons did not pose a threat to the U.S. military before the 2003 invasion of Iraq. They were not maintained or part of any organized program run by Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein.”
-Katherine Shrader, Associated Press Writer

Source:
news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060622/ap_on_go_co/iraq_s_weapons

[thaddius]

"I am not a crook" - Richard M. Nixon, United States president.

[Twitchmonkey]

As far I as I know these sorts of things werewhat they used to clear out trenches. That doesn't sound very massive to me. Then again, I know nothing of war and little of peace.

[lulu]

"If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it."
Calvin Coolidge, US President

"I don't know much about Americanism, but it's a damn good
word with which to carry an election."
Warren G. Harding, US President

"I guess if Ari had to rebel, being a Republican is better
than being on drugs, but not by much."
- - Alan Fleischer
(father of White House press secretary Ari Fleischer)

"The attention span of the American people is
'Which movie is coming out next week?' "
Republican Sen. Alan Simpson

These are not bad people. All they are concerned about is to
see that their sweet little girls are not required to sit in
school alongside some big overgrown Negroes.
President Eisenhower

"Racial discrimination does not always violate
public policy."
Trent Lott

" the jews. They don't vote for us anyway."
--James Baker to George Bush Sr in 1992, according to
William Safire in the New York Time.
Note Baker was Sec of State under Bush I and
Campaign Manager for Bush II and
GOP Sen from Tenn

"But I do know that it's true that if you wanted to reduce crime,
you could, if that were your sole purpose, you could abort
every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go
down,"
Bill Bennett, Education Secretary under Bush I
Source:9-29-05 "Morning in America" Radio show

"Blessed are the young for they shall inherit
the national debt."
Herbert Hoover, US President

"God, was she a good player. I was so fascinated in
watching her bid and play that I could hardly
concentrate on her breasts."
--Senator Bob Packwood (R-OR),
commenting on his bridge opponent in his diaries,
as printed in the Washington Post

"When you see a blonde with great tits and a great ,
you say to yourself, 'Hey, she must be stupid or must
have nothing else to offer', which maybe is the case
many times."
Arnold Schwarzenegger
July, 2003 Esquire Magazine Interview)

"What's his accomplishment?....That he's no longer
an obnoxious drunk?"
Ron Reagan, Jr. commenting on George Bush II

"Perhaps one of the most important accomplishments of my
administration has been minding my own business."
Calvin Coolidge, US President

"Capital punishment is our way of demonstrating
the sanctity of life."
-Orrin Hatch

"I don't know that atheists should be considered
citizens, nor should they be considered patriots.
This is one nation under God."-- George Bush

"This nation sits at a crossroads. One direction points
to the higher road of the rule of law. Sometimes hard,
sometimes unpleasant, this path relies on truth,
justice and the rigorous application of the principle
that no man is above the law.....No man is above the law,
and no man is below the law. That's the principle
that we all hold very dear in this country."
Rep. Tom Delay (R-TX)

"Half the world does not know the joy of wearing
cotton underwear"
--Texas Sen. Phil Gramm

"When I'm not a politician, I'll be dead."
Az Sen Barry M. Goldwater

"We do many things at the federal level that would
be considered dishonest and illegal if done in the private sector."
Donald T. Regan, President Reagan's
Chief of Staff

"In a recent fire Bob Dole's library burned down. Both books were lost.
And he hadn't even finished coloring one of them."
Jack Kemp

"About the time we can make the ends meet,
somebody moves the ends.
Herbert Hoover, US President

"The human body has two ends on it: one to create with and
one to sit on. Sometimes people get their ends reversed.
When this happens they need a kick in the seat of the pants."
Theodore Roosevelt, US President

Enron
"Sometimes things aren't exactly black and
white when it comes to accounting procedures."
George Bush Jr. 7-8-2002

"If I were two faced, would I be wearing this one?"
Abraham Lincoln

"I AM the federal government."
House Majority Leader Tom Delay, when told it was against
a federal law to smoke his cigar in a no-smoking area,
Washington Post, May 2003

"Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands,
kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism,
and become lesbians."
--Pat Robertson
at the 1992 Republican National Convention

"Most of these feminists are radical, frustrated lesbians,
many of them, and man-haters, and failures in their
relationships with men, and who have declared war on
the male gender. The Biblical condemnation of feminism
has to do with its radical philosophy and goals. That's the
bottom line."
--Jerry Falwell

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for
women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political
movement that encourages women to leave their husbands,
kill their children, practice witchcraft,
destroy capitalism, and become lesbians."
-- Pat Robertson, fundraising letter, 1992

"I think gay marriage is something that should be between
a man and a woman"
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger

"I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting
fewer spectators."
Gerald R. Ford, US President

"Our intent will not be to create gridlock. Oh, except maybe from time to time."
Bob Dole, on working with the Clinton administration

"Many of those people involved with Adolph Hitler
were Satanists, many of them were homosexuals--
the two things seem to go together."
--Pat Robertson, "The 700 Club," 1/21/93

"I'm the only person of distinction who has ever had a
depression named for him."
Herbert Hoover, US President

"When I see a first-class individual who makes $80,000
a year, he's lower middle class. When I see someone
who is making anywhere from $300,000 to $750,000 a
year, that's middle class. When I see anyone above that,
that's upper middle class."
--Rep. Fred Heineman (R-NC), explaining that his yearly
income of $180,000 leaves him short of middle-class status

"I am not going to give you a number for it because it's not my
business to do intelligent work."
Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, asked to estimate the number of
Iraqi insurgents while testifying before Congress,
Feb. 16, 2005

"The Internet is a gateway to get on the net."
Bob Dole

"Nothing is more important in the face of war
than cutting taxes."
Denney Hastert GOP Speaker Of The House 4-4-2003

"Many people have left their jobs for the more profitable one of
selling apples"
GOP President Hoover 12-2-30

"When you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em,
'Certainly I can!' Then get busy and find out how to do it."
Theodore Roosevelt, US President











And now some words of wisdom....

"The President is the last person in the world to know what
the people really want and think."
James A Garfield, US President

[Osama Bin Laden]

lulu said:

Enron
"Sometimes things aren't exactly black and
white when it comes to accounting procedures."
George Bush Jr. 7-8-2002

Umm... ? Come on Bush...

[Twitchmonkey]

"Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands,
kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism,
and become lesbians."
--Pat Robertson
at the 1992 Republican National Convention

[img src="http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b245/PowerRangerForum/Emoticons/i20.photobucket.com/albums/b245/PowerRangerForum/Emoticons/rofl.gif"].gif[/IMG] My favorite. If stupid were a religion, he'd be the biggest of televangelists...oh wait....

[lulu]

I guess I'm a witch. Oh well, time to stirr the pot of child stew.

[Slipper Eater]

Oh, wonderful. Why is it that they don't think before they speak? And they wonder why people are tired of being lied to?

Although these quotes beg me to ask how many were out of context, misreported, etc.

[Twitchmonkey]

slippereater said:

Oh, wonderful. Why is it that they don't think before they speak? And they wonder why people are tired of being lied to?

Although these quotes beg me to ask how many were out of context, misreported, etc.

My guess: 90%, but they're still good.

[Slipper Eater]

Yeah, I especially loved:

"I think gay marriage is something that should be between
a man and a woman"
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Why do people vote for these people? I kinda love how my country is run at times, we make stupid, blundering errors but I can't recall a time when they've said something inherently stupid.

But ours are stealthy in their fuckups. Which makes 'em worse.

[Justice]

The england people fuckup with politics, ive never seen anything about them and i watch the news alot.... they are stealthy

[morty14]

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman"
Bill Clinton
Always a classic one.

"The advance of liberty is the path to both a safer and better world."
says the man who thought up the PATRIOT Act.

"We know that dictators are quick to choose aggression, while free nations strive to resolve differences in peace. We know that oppressive governments support terror, while free governments fight the terrorists in their midst. We know that free peoples embrace progress and life, instead of becoming the recruits for murderous ideologies."
Interesting, it seems W has admitted to being a dictator, and apparently many of our fellow Americans aren't free people anymore.

"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."
George W Bush.
I know, what in the world are they thinking?

"States should have the right to enact... laws...particularly to end the inhumane practice of ending a life that otherwise could live."
That's interesting coming from the man who was Governor of Texas, the state leading in executions.

"....it is better to succeed with success than failure."
Bush II.
Luckly for us, we don't have to succeed at all and deal with tough choices like that.

"Most of our imports come from other countries."
GWB.

"America will never seek a permission slip to defend the security of our country."
George W.
I agree, but occassionally we might want to seek a real reason.

"It's a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life."
George W Bush.
So that's why we go to war, have the death penalty, and try to put guns in everyone's home. W gets sad when people aren't losing their lives.

"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."
Because you know Bush's propaganda is the truth. All the time, always.

There are so many funny Bush quotes, these are some of the funnier, yet not always talked about, ones.

[Muad'dib]

"Outside of the killings, [Washington] has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." -- Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.

"There are two kinds of truth. There are real truths, and there are made up truths." -- Marion Barry, on his arrest for drug use.

"If crime went down 100%, it would still be fifty times higher than it should be." -- Councilman John Bowman, commenting on the high crime rate in Washington, D.C.

" make sure everybody who has a job wants a job." -- George Bush, during his first campaign for the presidency.

"I would like to thank Nasal Beard for that warm welcome." -- George Bush, thanking Hazel Beard, mayor of Shreveport, Louisiana, in 1992.

"Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?" -- George W. Bush

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." -- George W. Bush

"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case." -- George W. Bush

"We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor as you like to be liked yourself." -- George W. Bush

"Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness." -- George W. Bush

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question." -- George W. Bush

"This campaign not only hears the voices of the entrepreneurs and the farmers and the entrepreneurs, we hear the voices of those struggling to get ahead." -- George W. Bush

"We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile." -- George W. Bush

"Actually, I -- this may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about--when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me." -- George W. Bush

"When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment results." -- Calvin Coolidge, ex-president, discussing the United States economic situation in 1931.

"If Lincoln was alive today, he'd roll over in his grave." -- Gerald Ford

"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been." -- Gerald Ford

"I love sports. Whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on the radio." -- Gerald Ford

"That is what has made America last these past 200 centuries." -- Gerald Ford

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." -- Charles de Gaulle, President of France

"A zebra does not change its spots." -- Al Gore

"The theories -- the ideas she expressed about equality of results within legislative bodies and with -- by outcome, by decisions made by legislative bodies, ideas related to proportional voting as a general remedy, not in particular cases where the circumstances make that a feasible idea..." -- Al Gore

"The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep." -- Senator S. I. Hayakawa

"Wherever I have gone in this country, I have found Americans." -- Alf Landon (in America), during a speech in his presidential campaign against FDR.

"There is a mandate to impose a voluntary return to traditional values." -- Ronald Reagan

"Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up, and I think we're going to succeed." -- Ronald Reagan

"The right to suffer is one of the joys of a free economy." -- Howard Pyle, aide to President Dwight D. Eisenhower, commenting on the unemployment situation in Detroit.

"A man could not be in two places at the same time unless he were a bird." -- Sir Boyle Roche, eighteenth century Member of Parliament from Tralee.

"I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?" -- Jim Scheibel, mayor of St. Paul, Minnesota.

"Wait a minute! I'm not interested in agriculture. I want the military stuff." -- Senator William Scott, during a briefing in which officials began telling him about missile silos.

[Gold_skywalker]

Heh, those are pretty funny, but even the best of men say the wrong things, eh?

[Justice]

"Im losing altitude, im going to read" George W Bush

[Gold_skywalker]

Source: urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl_john_kerry_quotes.htm


John F. Kerry speaks:

"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."
- John F. Kerry

O rly, Johnny?

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- John F. Kerry
Again, O RLY?
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
- John F. Kerry
W.T.F?
"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
- John F. Kerry
I don't know what to say about this but laugh.
"The future will be better tomorrow."
- John F. Kerry
/giggle-snort
"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
- John F. Kerry
O, Rly?
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
- John F. Kerry
What about those statements, eh?
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
- John F. Kerry
/giggle-snort
"Public speaking is very easy."
- John F. Kerry

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
- John F. Kerry
O, Rly?
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- John F. Kerry
/giggle-snort again
"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
- John F. Kerry
/full-out-laughing
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
- John F. Kerry
/
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- John F. Kerry
/
"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."
- John F. Kerry
/

[Justice]

Kerry should have won

[Gold_skywalker]

stealthjunkie said:

Kerry should have won [img src="http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b245/PowerRangerForum/Emoticons/i20.photobucket.com/albums/b245/PowerRangerForum/Emoticons/rofl.gif"].gif

[/IMG][/quote]

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
- John F. Kerry

[img src="http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b245/PowerRangerForum/Emoticons/i20.photobucket.com/albums/b245/PowerRangerForum/Emoticons/rofl.gif"].gif[/IMG]

[Justice]

I thought NASA was going into Hamster raceing... thanks for clearing that up John

[Gold_skywalker]

What? Idiot, NASA was going into ELEPHANT racing, D-UH!

[Justice]

Hey, you should go into politics!

[Gold_skywalker]

Me? I'd have to be a Propaganda minister, or something. I don't really know too much on some of the issues to accurately be anything but a Pminister.

[Justice]

Dont know really to much about the issues?! Youre perfect for the job of a politician!!!

[Gold_skywalker]

stealthjunkie said:

Dont know really to much about the issues?! Youre perfect for the job of a politician!!! [img src="http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b245/PowerRangerForum/Emoticons/i20.photobucket.com/albums/b245/PowerRangerForum/Emoticons/rofl.gif"].gif

[/IMG][/quote]

/giggle-snort-snicker

[Slipper Eater]

stealthjunkie said:

Kerry should have won [img src="http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b245/PowerRangerForum/Emoticons/i20.photobucket.com/albums/b245/PowerRangerForum/Emoticons/rofl.gif"].gif

[/IMG][/quote]

Muffin, I hope you noticed that those statements are urban legends.